Well howdy doo y'all?!!
It's been some time since I've been on here I guess. I wouldn't mind actually picking this back up as maybe it will help to inspire my creative writing. It seems the last time I was posting in here was 2016. Before that? College. Well, this was created for a class in my senior year at Ottawa University. It feels like forever since graduating in 2012. Since then there has been an incredible amount of good and bad that's happened. Both in the world and personally.
We'll skip all that and get to this last year or two. 2019 saw a year in which I lost both my father and his mother my grandmother. My father would have been 63 at the end of March but passed on the 23rd. Grandmother passed on April 28th. It for some reason was especially hard on me even though I was a thousand miles away. I think in regards to why it was so hard when my father passed was because I know the last time I spoke to him was on the 23rd. So I was the last person he spoke to since he had just gotten off the phone with grandmother.
My father knew he was a bad parent and he did his best to make amends for it as best he can. He was a lonely old-young man who was unemployed and received a sparse forced early retirement from the University of Kansas of which he was a Custodian for 19.5 years and his father was a Biochemist Professor for 20 some odd years. I know my father tried but he was losing his mind I feel as seldom he would call me by a different child's name. But what hurt me was he always called and told me how much he missed my eldest and youngest biological siblings. He couldn't have a normal conversation with my eldest's twin sister. In any case he sure tried, and he honestly meant to make amends but no one would give him the time of day. I was always, (even since I was a child Judge Shepherd would use me as the [mediator]). Yet no one would give him the time of day except for me.
I am unsure if my father really cared but I know my grandparents truly did care and tried to help us have some semblance of normalcy when we would go to their house as children. I remember tea time at the grandparents house where Grandmother would serve us all tea in the living room and talk about how we were doing and trying to encourage us. See as children them and Mr. Pat Patterson (he was a WWII Black pilot of the only all black squadron. He sipped his bourbon out of his flask and said every single day and many many times each day to "Get your education. The most important thing to remember is to get your edumacation." Grandparents were the same. Grandfather tutored me in Chemistry through college and would do the same when I visited as a child.
So that was the beginning of the year and my birthday was pretty lousy. My job at Order Inn was getting worse and they had cut all the Specialists (mind you I was the senior-most and was the AGM) hours from 40 to 20 at the very best. We rose hell and demanded they stop charging us for insurance we couldn't use. My checks went from 800-1000 with overtime down to 125-300 after taxes, insurance, child support, and another garnishment that started to take 25% of my pay. My roommates were becoming so much worse and then got us evicted. I moved in with a coworker and "friend" or so I thought.
Fast forward to around thanksgiving I sent BM a text saying "oh how convenient my flight returning from Christmas has a 3 hour layover in Detroit." I asked if she thinks she could meet me at the airport so I can meet our daughter. She got back to me a few days or a week later and said they would. I was floored. Oh btw... I hadn't bought the ticket when I had advised of this. I was waiting for the yes answer and I got it so I booked it right then. lol My original flight was taken me through LA back to Vegas. December 27th my flight landed at the North Terminal at John Wayne Airport in Detroit. I was terrified and shaking and crying. I had packed all my stuff in checked baggage and brought all of her Christmas presents in my backpack.
I was really poor seeings as OII was screwing me so badly. So thankfully Jessie (she's my baby sister--foster care)took me to Spencers and Justice and a couple other little stores at the Oak Park Mall that I haven't been to since I was like 16. I bought my daughter a bunch of nickel-free jewelry since her mother had just bought her a bunch of makeup. It was perfect. I got her a tiara type crown and I took this amazingly soft and cuddly teddy-bear of which I received a picture the following morning of her buried with my bear under her covers. It was the most heart-warming picture ever.
We sat at the airport while mom, gramma, and auntie all sat next to us but talked amongst themselves. It was the first time since 2008 I had seen BM. I wes mortified! I not only had to see her but I had to meet her mother and pregnant sister as well. AND, make a good impression. I must have made a good impression on the latter two but BM is still vile towards me. Izzy and I sat for almost three hours as she opened her gifts and the smile on her face and the beaming joy she had of finally meeting me. We did madlibs the entire time and we made so many funny stories it was great to see how alike we truly are. She's intelligent as hell, creative, sassy, spunky, dazzling and talented. Oh did I say hilarious? She is so funny I love it!
Anyway oh one thing I didn't mention. The precursor to us meeting was in June she was visiting gramma and so Izzy and I had a daddy-daughter date in which we face-timed while I walked the entire strip which magnified her desire to meet me and also to come out here. Grandmother and I spoke quietly about my plan. She already knew what I was planning and Izzy wanted it to happen so we all pressured to make it happen. The only reason it happened was because "Izzy demanded to meet her father." Look I'm just super glad she took after me in that aspect. She knows what she wants and she makes it happen. LOL
So here we are our daddy-daughter date last summer was roughly 2 hours before batteries died. We visited for almost three hours at the airport. And as a fantastic followup: my amazing and incredible thoughtful daughter decided to surprise me on Father's Day and she face-timed me. For three hours (the longest ever, and the first time on that day ever) we laughed, giggled, sang, dance and did a sweet little photo shoot. It was so great!!! It's incredible because when she's with gramma she can't stop talking and laughing and having fun. With mom, she's all like I don't know what to say. I feel like she's scared to be herself with me with mom. I don't know. At any rate: my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am so incredibly blessed to have her and finally have met her.
That's all folks. For now.
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