Update

    Well hello, it has been many a moon since I've updated. There has been a lot that has gone on and I am most excited that I get to see my daughter after four years of being unable to due to the pandemic. Now that it's over, I have a trip planned for late July. This may be difficult to do (even though everything is paid for) due to a downsizing at my company and eliminating my position. So now I'm in the market for a new job or career path. My bearded dragon has grown so big and loves her new enclosure.  

Reflections

It is something of a wonder, the life I have lived, the circumstances I have endured and continue to endure. It has not been easy holding the weight of the world on my shoulders and I can guarantee that none other than me could handle the weight. They would buckle under the intensity, they would cave under the solidarity, the pressure, and the prowess. I am built strong, stronger than what I emit, stronger than what my physical feature makes up. I have handled all of this not with grace, not with pure humility, at least not until now. But I have endured, mestaticised, quelled, fallen and rebuilt more times than I can count. All of these events have led to something great. Something yet to come. Something so simply beautiful that I will be awestruck with the complexity of my mind that which built this all from the ground up.

Where'd You Go, I Miss You So

Well howdy doo y'all?!!

It's been some time since I've been on here I guess. I wouldn't mind actually picking this back up as maybe it will help to inspire my creative writing. It seems the last time I was posting in here was 2016. Before that? College. Well, this was created for a class in my senior year at Ottawa University. It feels like forever since graduating in 2012. Since then there has been an incredible amount of good and bad that's happened. Both in the world and personally. 

We'll skip all that and get to this last year or two. 2019 saw a year in which I lost both my father and his mother my grandmother. My father would have been 63 at the end of March but passed on the 23rd. Grandmother passed on April 28th. It for some reason was especially hard on me even though I was a thousand miles away. I think in regards to why it was so hard when my father passed was because I know the last time I spoke to him was on the 23rd. So I was the last person he spoke to since he had just gotten off the phone with grandmother. 

My father knew he was a bad parent and he did his best to make amends for it as best he can. He was a lonely old-young man who was unemployed and received a sparse forced early retirement from the University of Kansas of which he was a Custodian for 19.5 years and his father was a Biochemist Professor for 20 some odd years. I know my father tried but he was losing his mind I feel as seldom he would call me by a different child's name. But what hurt me was he always called and told me how much he missed my eldest and youngest biological siblings. He couldn't have a normal conversation with my eldest's twin sister. In any case he sure tried, and he honestly meant to make amends but no one would give him the time of day. I was always, (even since I was a child Judge Shepherd would use me as the [mediator]). Yet no one would give him the time of day except for me. 

I am unsure if my father really cared but I know my grandparents truly did care and tried to help us have some semblance of normalcy when we would go to their house as children. I remember tea time at the grandparents house where Grandmother would serve us all tea in the living room and talk about how we were doing and trying to encourage us. See as children them and Mr. Pat Patterson (he was a WWII Black pilot of the only all black squadron. He sipped his bourbon out of his flask and said every single day and many many times each day to "Get your education. The most important thing to remember is to get your edumacation." Grandparents were the same. Grandfather tutored me in Chemistry through college and would do the same when I visited as a child. 

So that was the beginning of the year and my birthday was pretty lousy. My job at Order Inn was getting worse and they had cut all the Specialists (mind you I was the senior-most and was the AGM) hours from 40 to 20 at the very best. We rose hell and demanded they stop charging us for insurance we couldn't use. My checks went from 800-1000 with overtime down to 125-300 after taxes, insurance, child support, and another garnishment that started to take 25% of my pay. My roommates were becoming so much worse and then got us evicted. I moved in with a coworker and "friend" or so I thought. 

Fast forward to around thanksgiving I sent BM a text saying "oh how convenient my flight returning from Christmas has a 3 hour layover in Detroit." I asked if she thinks she could meet me at the airport so I can meet our daughter. She got back to me a few days or a week later and said they would. I was floored. Oh btw... I hadn't bought the ticket when I had advised of this. I was waiting for the yes answer and I got it so I booked it right then. lol My original flight was taken me through LA back to Vegas. December 27th my flight landed at the North Terminal at John Wayne Airport in Detroit. I was terrified and shaking and crying. I had packed all my stuff in checked baggage and brought all of her Christmas presents in my backpack. 

I was really poor seeings as OII was screwing me so badly. So thankfully Jessie (she's my baby sister--foster care)took me to Spencers and Justice and a couple other little stores at the Oak Park Mall that I haven't been to since I was like 16. I bought my daughter a bunch of nickel-free jewelry since her mother had just bought her a bunch of makeup. It was perfect. I got her a tiara type crown and I took this amazingly soft and cuddly teddy-bear of which I received a picture the following morning of her buried with my bear under her covers. It was the most heart-warming picture ever. 

We sat at the airport while mom, gramma, and auntie all sat next to us but talked amongst themselves. It was the first time since 2008 I had seen BM. I wes mortified! I not only had to see her but I had to meet her mother and pregnant sister as well. AND, make a good impression. I must have made a good impression on the latter two but BM is still vile towards me. Izzy and I sat for almost three hours as she opened her gifts and the smile on her face and the beaming joy she had of finally meeting me. We did madlibs the entire time and we made so many funny stories it was great to see how alike we truly are. She's intelligent as hell, creative, sassy, spunky, dazzling and talented. Oh did I say hilarious? She is so funny I love it!

Anyway oh one thing I didn't mention. The precursor to us meeting was in June she was visiting gramma and so Izzy and I had a daddy-daughter date in which we face-timed while I walked the entire strip which magnified her desire to meet me and also to come out here. Grandmother and I spoke quietly about my plan. She already knew what I was planning and Izzy wanted it to happen so we all pressured to make it happen. The only reason it happened was because "Izzy demanded to meet her father." Look I'm just super glad she took after me in that aspect. She knows what she wants and she makes it happen. LOL

So here we are our daddy-daughter date last summer was roughly 2 hours before batteries died. We visited for almost three hours at the airport. And as a fantastic followup: my amazing and incredible thoughtful daughter decided to surprise me on Father's Day and she face-timed me. For three hours (the longest ever, and the first time on that day ever) we laughed, giggled, sang, dance and did a sweet little photo shoot. It was so great!!! It's incredible because when she's with gramma she can't stop talking and laughing and having fun. With mom, she's all like I don't know what to say. I feel like she's scared to be herself with me with mom. I don't know. At any rate: my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am so incredibly blessed to have her and finally have met her. 

That's all folks. For now. 

Definitive Advancement

In a country that was founded on religious freedom, and has overcome persistent xenophobia, racism, sexist ideology, we find in our current state a country in despair. America boasts as being the greatest and most powerfully abundant and diverse country in the world we currently see ourselves more decided than ever.

We seek political asylum, free from religious persecution, degredation, and hatred yet as we envelope and elect a new President having no political background to canvas it is seen that America has succumbed to the wickedness that lies within a deeply moral and ethical foundation that has festered and blossomed into this maniacal machine that we as the people elected to be our Commander in Chief.

Even with this we understand and foresee the incredible democracy that people only accept if it goes their way. One of the first times in my life that I have seen such arrogant, outright dismissive and obtrusive behavior by the very people we hope to salvage. My question is, does America want to be saved or will we begin a Civil War so-to-speak and create further revision among our comrades? Can we exude the magnificence that we so much demand from the rest of the species that is the human race? Is it inevitable that we destroy what has taken over 100 years to attain? It is seemingly so. I say this not out of anger, yet out of pity and sorrow for our country as it tears itself apart. The unfortunate reality of a country beaten, distraught, and fed up with the particular way  of events that have unfolded.

A constant battle wages now, more than ever; shunning women's rights, racial rights, and lifestyle choices, not to mention politically Democratic xenophobes that have conspired to turn this land we call home into one massive battleground without regard to religion, nationality, creed, and personality. We as a country and community have become introverted in circumspect, foolish in protagonist outrages, and an anti-social oligarchy that chooses to destroy itself no matter what we do. Is there any recompense to this new state of emergency over this event  that may turn certainly turn into a marshall law sort of state?

We most certainly have become the augered and angered country pushing back the ideology of our Founding Fathers, to 100 plus years. It is shameful and distasteful not to mention absolutely deplorable that we as a people have chosen to become caged "animals" following in the footsteps of our fathers.

Manipulation

An interesting point was brought up to me a couple days ago about how our children become manipulative. I wonder sometimes is it nature or nuture that brings this demoralizing attribute to light? We must strive to teach our children the proper etiquette of being part of this race of humans. At no point is it ok to willingly manipulate our friends, our loved ones, our family or our community.

It is understandable that this unique verb is ever present in the workforce, as was also brought to attention. In that we persuade our employers why we are the best for various reasons, we persuade customers why they should buy our products, and to go nationally, look at politics. The entire field of politics is a manipulation of belief systems and ethics to get one elected into office.

As with everything it takes a level of skill, committment, integrity, response-ability and craftsmanship to advance into positions in which we seek. However as stated previously stated it is vicariously interwoven into the fabric of infrastructure for our society.

I find that it is not ok for youth to manipulate theirs parents or visw versa, additionally it is not ok for parents to manipulate the other as I have made this a principle in my relationship. Not always have I been as honest and forthright as I am now. It has taken a lot of pain and angst to come to this percocious state.  I have lost everything I have loved and fight daily to rebuild what is mine.

I urge you parents, friends, mentors, coaches, leaders, bosses, masters, and anybody on any tier of the structure, please do not manipulate each other the way people do. Please refrain from doing so to me. As I have stated, if you got me, I got you. Practice humility, respect, truth, and honor and teach our children correctly.

It Is Written

It IS written. Believe that. Many people believe that events happen by happenstance, when in fact everything is already written, woven if you will, into the fabrics of our beings. There is no changing what has already been written. Unfortunately, this does include events identified as "bad" for some individuals, some families, some communities, some nations. We are not free no matter what society decides to narrate to you. We are in control and that control cannot be broken, cannot be misguided, cannot be misconstrued, and cannot be misused. While you try to change the course of events by your decisions, your placements, your desires, what is written is just that. Written. I cannot apologize for anything you feel is outside of the realm of rationality. We are not shaped by ego, by will power, by influences and affluence.

If you do not like what I decide, if you do not like what I do, if you do not like where I sit, stand, or move, that is not on me, that is on you. I will not be moved into conformity of where you believe I should be. While I sometimes don't completely understand events, patterns, or numerics, it is still deeply situated in the core of my being. While I may not understand in that moment, it will come to me at a later time. I see all, I feel all, I hear all. However, as I have stated I am not arrogant, egotistical, or self-righteous about any of it. I remain humble. I remain in my place wherever that place may be at any given time. I travel the globe, the universe constantly. I meet billions of people, creatures, and beings. Yes I get annoyed by many people, I get shy quite often. We are scared a lot, however with a deep breath, and a moment of solstice, we find ourselves. We create new all the time. Through science, technology,  engineering and math. HAH. It's amazing how these disciplines interweave into all of creation interplanetary, intergalactic, intercosmic.

Warlike Consciousness

The time has come  for all of us to stand up. We know what we believe, we know what we think but do we KNOW US? Me must ALL awaken and become aware of the many characteristics that make up what we are. That means becoming fully aware of our bio genes, our molecular makeup, our neurological (chemical) creations, and our astronomical influences into what is reality, and what can become reality. We have been asleep for thousands of years, and unlike millions of others, I have chosen to awaken. I have awoken my blood, my thirst, my ambitions, my desire, and in a very near state, I intend to find my Queen whom will allow me to awake further. When will you choose to awaken your spirit? When will you choose to awaken your soul? It is said that we manifest and attract what we exude. If we think negative do we really manifest negativity? I'm not sure about this. Most times I believe that if you speak negativity into your life, you awaken negativity. We are at WAR comrades, friends, acquaintances. I need not to say what kind of war we wage because it will become apparent in a relatively supersonic expeditious time. This realization will be on us tomorrow, rather than in years. What will you fight for? Will you fight for you? Will you fight for me? Or will you fight against that which is right, true, and just? Choose wisely my friends. Don't get caught on the wrong side of this cataclysmic event. Eye will see your true intentions, motives, and characteristics. Eye will know you, and you will see that Eye have been correct in all of my assertions. This is not ego, this is actuality on a planetary plane. We have come here to find a home, yet we can not find that home here. Where do we go next? With your help, we can decide optimally, decisively, and expeditiously. Let's go!

The Systematic Failure of Society

It is interesting how sometimes we find ourselves a prisoner of our own rationality, perception, and realities. We notice that our experiences shape our opinions; our perceptions shape our realities. Our consciousness may be shaped by our thoughts, our inherent ideological influences, our theologies, and our philosophies. Of course, let's not forget the unbridled influence that social media, news media, and entertainment media prostrate every one of our senses with vivid advertisements, unrealistic and unattainable attributes of desire, and unnatural beauty that is at best supercilious. We extend to ourselves, to our children, to our peers to our acquaintances a systematic failure in affluence of beauty, intelligence, creativity, innovation, and marketability. These reasons, and examples are exactly how we find ourselves in an emotional, psychological, intellectual, and theoretical prison. How has it become that we allow the values, opinions, expressions of media, entertainment, undeveloped philosophies to dictate how and when we should operate? This is unjust. This is an opportunity for us to diligently and scrupulously dive into our own motives, our own ideations, our artistic output as a collective. If we all take a few minutes each day to ascribe, and describe what we "are," what we "want" to "be," and how we want to develop these to actuality, we might then be able to discern factual, tangible, from the theoretical, rhetorical. When we dive in to self discovery as I have been trying to complete over the last 3-5 years it leads us to more confusion (which naturally is uncomfortable, yet unavoidable), uncertainty, yet in some of the more dormant capacities of our brain, becomes enlightenment, and stimulates an awaking of oneself, and the controls over our realities, and the limitations we impose on ourselves, and our comrades. Throughout this whole process we find patterns in light, patterns in dark, patterns in number, patterns in color, patterns in circumstance, patterns in decisions, patterns in patterns throughout the whole of our lives. It is an opportunity for self discovery, self I disclosure, self exploration.

We MUST take the good with the bad, the arrogant with the humble, the truth with the lies and we must decipher our true nature so we can become our truest beings, find our truest cosmic connections, and our truest loves.

Working Smarter

Something that is common enough to have major difficulties is working in a group setting, in an online set up. While it makes collaboration among members from all over the country easier, it also makes it more difficult by adding communication complexities. The biggest item that online technologies take away is that personalization of face to face contact. In first person communication you see every detail of expression, you can feel the inflection and deflection of voice, and you are free to respond in kind to any and all of these variances. Many times the student will skim what their cohorts type instead of reading it with interest, actually studying what is being said and using critical thinking skills.

This doesn't mean it occurs with the majority of people using online interactive technologies and it could very well be isolated to small segments. Yet even if this doesn't pose the larger threat, "Time" is the factor that affects the majority of people who use online technologies. Twenty-Four hours exist every day all across the globe and for some it's plenty of time to get tasks done, however for others, there couldn't be enough of. As the technological world continues to drive forward there has been a larger push for mobile technologies. This is where the smart phone has come into play. Seeing there needed to be more mobility and in an effort to make time more efficient tablets and net books arrive on the scene. As we continue forward in the advancement of technology, how can we make time even more efficient? How do we maintain connections across distances? And finally can we eventually be able to just beam the information or complete something by simply thinking?

Using a Blog for Internal Audiences

Using the POST Planning Process

• People—

      Use Social Technographics Profile to decide what customers are ready for.

      Assess based on current activities, trends and procedures

•  Objectives—

      What are the goals?

How best to utilize the Groundswell: marketing or sales; tapping internally to unify
employees

•  Strategy—

      How do you want customer relations to change?

      Will customers help carry message?

      Do you want them to engage in the company?

§  Allows to plan for changes first

§  Get input from company members who feel threatened

• Technology—

What application should be built?
Pick appropriate tech incl: wikis, blogs, social networks, etc…

Writing in journals, diaries, or whiteboards has become outdated ever so rapidly as Web 2.0 emerges at full steam in a world dictated, persuaded and dissuaded by social commentary, and popular opinion. Blogging is the new journaling and is used by millions of people across the globe to express anything that the reader is interested in. The first item to tackle when you decide to begin blogging is to figure out your target audience. People Who are you appealing to? Is that group of people ready to experience the infinite blogosphere?

For the sake and ease of this exercise let’s decide our target audience to be our co-workers excluding senior leadership. The purpose of finding out the Technographic Profile is to make certain your are writing, and integrating employees who might be unsure about this technology shift. Be sure to pay special attention to those who are cautious around this idea of writing a journal online.

Continuing to make the blogging experience an ease and interesting it’s time to figure out the Objectives. Simply put: What is the purpose of the blog? Is it to educate on company practices? How about to entertain and create a light-hearted environment allowing a little enjoyment? Or is it just one author’s thoughts/musings/quirks?

I think that the underlying purpose of the majority of company blogs is to inform and educate the employees which many times can read drab-like. Why not have one small section for “411” information towards the back/end of the blog? In my experience, you obtain more favorable results by creating humor and entertainment for your co-workers.  Create contests, competitions, and shows/events and blast that in the blog. You would probably rather read about a Family Fun Weekend with chances to win prizes over reading an updated Privacy Policy or HIPPA Regulations. Am I right?

This is where the most important part of creating a blog rests. Well, really this is probably the most important part of any aspect of life or business. Creating a Strategy means deciding how the followers and listeners in your co-workership will function. The best way to put this blog up and get response is create interesting topics, stories, and engaging your loyal fans. If you give an opportunity of an open forum setting, you will have many more employees following, and even more importantly, responding, posting, hosting, and ghosting their friends.

In this process you must pick a technology. We obviously stayed with discussing blogs and how those can be used. I believe blogs—while costing a lot of time, energy, and creativity—are becoming fast the most used medium for social engagement. Whether you choose creating Wikis, Blogs, Social Medias, Chat platforms, texting, or virtual worlds: create something you enjoy! Create something imaginative, creative, and innovative that your friends and coworkers will be talking about by the end of the week!  But most importantly, 

Enjoy!